Girl2Boy
by latchandidntdoittt
Summary: Meet Mikomi Kyouko, the heroine of this comedic AU gender bender. Through a series of events, she plots a scheme to exact revenge on the cocky Suigetsu Hozuki--but did she really expect to fall for the charming Deidara in the process? No, not really...
1. Introduction

Ohayo gozamasu, Shizune desu. Vice Principal of Konoha High School.

Uhm, let's see...Tsunade-sama wanted me to show you these files, I think. Are these the right ones? Erm...oh, yes. Yes, that's right. Here you go...one of our former students, Mikomi Kyouko. She was a lovely student...a bit ditzy and a very impulsive child, but very athletic and had real potential.

**S T U D E N T R E C O R D**

Current Student-**Kyouko Masayuki**

**Student Last: **Kyouko

**Student First: **Masayuki

**Date of Birth: **02/10

**Age: **15 yrs

**Sex: **M

**Notes: **Transferred from Oto High School (OHS).

Oh..hehe. I know, I know. Some places are...crossed out. You thought I said Kyouko was a girl...? ...Oh! She is, she is. This is...this is just our file on her when she first transferred. It's a really long story, really, but it'll all be explained later on. Uhmm....here's the new record we made a few months later.

**S T U D E N T R E C O R D**

Current Student-**Kyouko Mikomi**

**Student Last: **Kyouko

**Student First: **Mikomi

**Date of Birth: **02/10

**Age: **15 yrs

**Sex: **F

**Notes: **Transferred from Oto High School (OHS) as M, formerly known as Kyokuo Masayuki. Later on discovered to be F; resumed F identity.

It's...confusing, I know. Is she a ...? Oh, heavens, no, she's not a transsexual, I promise. Well, I think this is all Tsunade-sama wanted me to show you. I'll leave you with this for now. Thank you for your time!


	2. Prologue

I didn't mean for it to happen, honest. It just somehow became that way.

I completely blame Suigetsu Hozuki. He's an evil, devious, coniving, horrible, horrible, awfulawfulawful terrible person. If he hadn't gotten his big fat ego in the way, maybe it would've never happened. Maybe things would be different. Maybe I'd still be at Oto, best friends with Karin and hanging with my other buds, Tayuya and Kin. We'd be our small but happy tennis team, and everything would be peachy and dum-diddly.

But no. Suigetsu just _had_ to be a big fat I-MUST-RUIN-EVERYTHIIIIIIIING and all. See, my history with that kid goes waaay back. Like, way back. Elementary school back. We used to be friends, kind of. I broke my favorite blue crayon, and he gave me his. BOOM! Best friends for life. Only, "for life" didn't last too long...

I mean, we were friends for a while. But then, in junior high, we kind of drifted apart. He started becoming a jerk, talking about boobs and butts to all his new friends like he was all that, and about the girls he made out with during what week, and that just annoyed me. And I had my own people afterwards. There was Karin, and I met her right after I got out of elementary school. She was that shy but pretty bookworm who sat in the back of the room, but her flaming red hair totally made her stand out. Of course, she's definitely not so shy now. But she had been reading a Shakespeare play at the time, and I'd read it already, so I just started talking to her about it, and we've been friends ever since.

I met Kin soon afterwards. She transferred from a nearby school, and she was just sitting there, hoping to make herself invisible. Karin marched right over there, plopped herself down, and demanded to know where she got her bracelet. That just automatically made the three of us together. Weird, right?

I didn't meet Tayuya till high school, and that's when I decided I wanted to join the school's girls' tennis team. I've always loved tennis--Mom taught me everything there was to know about the sport. I roped Karin and Kin into joining as well, and there Tayuya was at the first meet. Since high school's such a big place, I didn't notice her at all at first. She was the fiery-tempered transfer who had moved all the way from the rougher spots of Japan. She was a completely independent person, and I loved her boldness. She kind of got mixed in with us eventually, especially when all the senior members of the tennis club graduated. It was just us sophmores then, but that was alright.

A small but happy tennis team, right?

Then Suigetsu decided to come and go all "dfk;gfhfdssI'M GODZILLA FEEEEEAR ME!" rampage. Did I ever tell you how much I hate that guy? Yeah, for some reason...he decided that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. Or something along those lines. I don't even _know_. It was so random; we haven't talked in ages, and here he was, coming up me one day with his signature smile and saying we should go out some time. It's like your goldfish being healthy and well one day, and dying on you suddenly the next day because of some terminal cancer.

...I'm not really good with metaphors, I know. I don't even know if fish can have cancer, but it's the best I can come up with. So what did I say to the guy who I knew was infamous for having a different girlfriend every month? "_No._ Now can you move? You...you're kinda in front of my locker." And then--I have no idea, does hardcore rejection make a guy think the girl's just playing hard-to-get?--he started _following_ me around. Like, nearly stalking. He was right outside of my classroom every period, ready to take my books and trying to talk me into a date.

I used to think it was cute to have a guy like that, but now that I've actually been through it, I just know it's annoying. He's just there, thinking and hoping one day that you'll say yes, but I'm _not_. Good God, the last thing I would ever want to do is go out with Suigetsu Hozuki. It was completely gross. He just kept trying to flirt with me and using every single possible method he could think of to get me to say yes.

After a week, I think he thought he was making good progress, so...he _joined_ the boys' tennis team. And not too long afterwards, he was declared captain. I never really knew whether or not he was good at tennis, but I guess that answered my question. He must've been really, _really_ good. Because it took me an entire year for me to become captain of the girls' team, even when our numbers were much more limited than the boys'.

So I started seeing him a lot, because the girls' team and boys' team share the same tennis court, so we have sessions. The team that wasn't outside at the court would be using the gym, and after a certain amount of time, we'd switch. And every time he had a chance to talk to me, it was the same question: "So what about a [insert type of date here]?"

My answer was solid, firm: "No."

And plus, the coaches usually let us have our own practice, and they just locked themselves in their offices, They obviously didn't know about anything about what I'm pretty sure is considered harassment.

Till one day, I guess he got tired of being rejected, and he must've gotten it really bad from the guys because he'd been single for over two months now, so he broke the pattern.

The boys were coming into the gym from the court, towels around their necks and wiping their sweat, and we were picking up the the tennis balls that had invaded the gym floor during our practice.

It started out like normal. "Mikomi-chan, ne, how about a movie?"

It had become a total habit for me now, so I didn't even look up while saying, "No."

"Why not?" he demanded. _Now_ I looked up, because he'd never said that before, and that wasn't like our pattern at all.

"Because," I emphasized, "you're not my type."

In his hands, he rolled around a brightly-colored neon ball. He hurled it into the air and pushed his racket into the blurred object--hard.

It took me a second to realize it was coming towards me, so I did the natural thing to do, when a person was armed with a racket. I slammed my racket into it and sent it back to him. He jumped up a few feet in the air and caught it with ease, an irritated expression on his face. "Then what _is_ your type?"

I had a feeling then that we totally had the attention of every tennis player in the gym then, and I didn't like the attention one bit. "Whatever you're not," I shrugged, looking away as my cheeks began to burn.

"Why is that?" he pressed.

"Because I don't like you!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air. "Erm...now can we not do this here? Because...well, yeah!"

Something tugged at my wrist then, and I twisted my attention to the the source of the disturbance. It was Karin, and she said then: "Come on, let's go..."

"Okay." I trailed after her eagerly as she began to head towards the exit.

"Seriously, last chance..." Suigetsu said, an edge of something that seemed like impatience in his tone.

"Buzz off, loser! Go screw yourself or something," Tayuya sneered, flipping her hair. And it wasn't the only thing she flipped, either. She also made a flashy hand gesture at him before storming out with the rest of us.

"I said you're going to regret it," he warned darkly behind us.

I tried to ignore him...but I couldn't help hearing the twins, Sakon and Ukon, ask him what he meant. And maybe I heard the word wrong, but I was pretty sure I heard him say...

"Blackmail."

-+-

Mad doesn't even begin to describe it. I was far, beyond mad.

Furious? Slightly better, but still not enough. I wanted Suigetsu Hozuki to _die_. If I could, I would've done it with my bare hands. And if someone asked me who did the murdering, I wouldn't even try to hide the fact that it was me. In fact, I'd stand right up and announce to the world, "I DID IT. LOVE ME BECAUSE HE'S GONE. GONNNNE."

It was morning, I was in school...and class hadn't started yet so I was storming right past those groups of kids clustered in the hallway. Did I care if I bumped into them? No, I did not. Would you like to know why? Because if one of them raised a complaint, I WOULD BITE THEM. Yes, that's right, I'd bite them and I would be proud. Because I'm a proud biter.

And as soon as I saw those big fat numbers on that sign sticking out in front of me telling me this was Suigetsu Hozuki's classroom, I barged in there. My eyes darted around searchingly, looking for him. That _abomination_.

I saw him then, laughing at something Kidoumaru--another peachy member of the boys' tennis team--had said. I marched right over there with a glare that I hoped sliced throw him like he was sushi. Except not the good kind. He was sushi that was rotting away. I slammed both hands down on his desk, and mustered up all my anger into a voice that would've made Tayuya proud: "What. Have. You. _Done_."

Suigetsu stopped talking, then turned. It was like something in a scary movie, and he was a doll with a moving head that turned slowly, like it was having trouble. And when he did turn, his face was a picture of innocence. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, like I don't know it was you!" I scoffed, folding my arms. I had to fold my arms, otherwise I would've probably punched him right then and there. "I got called into the stupid office today, and you know what they told me? Girls' team's been dismantled! How did they put it again...? Right. The coach apparently said there was a very blatant complaint from a student who argued that the boys' team had a lot of people and needed the tennis court fulltime if they wanted to improve." I scowled, remembering something else now. "And apparently the boys are 'serious'. And the girls are doing it as a 'silly little game.'"

"Oh. That. Well, it's true," Suigetsu shrugged. There a smirk on his lips, but something else still stopped it from invading his face. "But...if you decide to go out with me, I'll withdraw my complaint. Otherwise I'm demolishing the girls' team for good."

I blinked. Once, then twice. "_What?_ Are you _serious_? You got rid of the team so I would--ohmigod!"

Kidomaru listened all the while, snickering, but now he just rolled his eyes. "Come on, babe. You're hurting his poor ego by rejecting him so much. Just do the man and yourself a favor and say yes."

"..._No._ You know what, no!" I was so, extremely beyond furious now. I think I was shouting, too, but I didn't notice at all at the time. "You crackwhore, get a life! I'm not going out with you even if it kills me!" My mind was spinning, and I felt a plan slowly clicking inside my head...

...and I swiveled around and exited, ignoring the hushed whispers behind me.

Like I said, see, it was all, entirely Suigetsu Hozuki's fault that I even came up with this plan to begin with.

-+-

When I got home that day, I think what I said to Mom sounded something like this: "Mooooom~! MOM?! MOOOOOOM--...oh, hey Mom. Erm...remember how you always told me that Konoha High was _such_ a nice school and you wanted me to transfer there, but we decided that I should just go to Oto in the end because there was no girls' tennis team there? Well, a lot's happened today, and I've been thinking...do you still have those transfer forms?"


End file.
